apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
