I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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