look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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