end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Girls should come with a carfax report
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
