I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize