I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
