that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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