susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
