eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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