The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Who wears a wallet chain?!
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Randomize
