Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
