Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
