this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Holy shit dude........stairs
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
