If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
