just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i drank out of a bidet.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize