She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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