Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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