Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
