shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
