I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
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