just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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