We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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