I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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