Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize