Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
