this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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