one might say we're banned from that church
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
we're making bets on your personal life
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
