Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize