Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
