Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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