so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You are the jesus of drinking
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
