And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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