you guys were way drunker than both of me
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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