omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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