Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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