She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize