walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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