a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize