Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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