I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
