yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
