I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize