I skipped work to stalk him.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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