My balls are so social today.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
