I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
