please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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