We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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