i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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