out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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