I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
