His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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