I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
