So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
