you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
