You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
