Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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