Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
