he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
