he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
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