Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
