oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
