If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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