You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
