Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I had to cum in my sink.
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