If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
