How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
