i just wanna soil my oats bro
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
A+ Viking dick
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
