I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I think i got beer on your cat.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
