So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
