the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
