It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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