i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize