I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
