South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
