She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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