I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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